Happy
by Orokid
Summary: Chloe contempates over everything well, over one person in the middle of the night with her trusty bottle of cheap wine beside her.


**By**_: Orokid_

**Author's Note**_: Yeah… I'm in a depressing period of writing right now- bite me! It happens, considering that I have my little periods of doing all sorts of stuff like that. So… yeah… Anyway! Lol. I'm in one of those periods now, and I'm a little obsessed with the Superman Returns / Smallville series right now- and I'm getting into Harry Potter again, so I'm a little unsure about what I'm writing right now. Lol._

**Rating**_: T_

**Genre**_: Angst/Romance_

**Warnings**_: Alcohol abuse_

**Disclaimer**_: I do not own anything Smallville- and that includes the storyline and the characters and everything else involved with such things. _

**Happy**

Chloe Sullivan sipped the beverage she had most recently bought, her heart lower than low and her alcohol tolerance gone. Her eyes were bloodshot, and it seemed that she might be hurting from the inside- but all trace of her bleeding heart had been lost in the stench of cheap wine. She seemed torn up, inside and out, and there seemed to be no way to reverse such a change in the thirty year-old's personality.

But what could've happened to change her so much?

The answer was probably a collection of things, although there was most definitely one reason that made the most sense out of everything. She was in love with a man who loved the world- and her dear job-stealing cousin, as it so seemed.

The woman collapsed on the green grass of the park, only to roll over and look up to the stars in a numb fashion. She couldn't think, couldn't feel the pain, but, then again, she could at the same time. She didn't want to feel any of it, and so this was where the alcohol had come in to play. The woman wanted to drink it all away, and that was all she had planned that very night, when the world wanted nothing of her anymore.

Her mind went towards the one whom she had fallen for in a sporadic moment of drunken stupor. She could still remember how his eyes had looked upon her whenever he was proud of her, and how his arms had wrapped around her while he pushed a car back out a window. She could remember those things so well, and yet… here she was, thinking of him.

And she hated how she did it.

She had wanted to kill her cousin when she had called so early that morning, just for waking her up at such an obscene hour like seven AM. Since she mainly went to work at a hometown paper around noon, seven seemed like a mad hour to be aroused from bed at. But the need for murder had arisen even more so when those words that she, Chloe, never wanted to ever hear in this lifetime escaped Lois's lips.

"_My son… is Superman's son, Chloe."_

If there had been any such justice in this sad world, she knew that Lois would've been shot down with a bolt of lightning and her dear innocent nephew would be without a mother. But, since God wasn't as merciful as she wished he was, her cousin still lived and her life still remained in the fiery plains of Limbo.

If this wasn't Hell, then there would be no use for the fiery pits she had been acquainted with as a little girl. If this wasn't Hell, than she wouldn't be suffering as much as she was.

But, as much as she had wanted to throw Lois Lane into a nearby volcano, she had merely congratulated her, having no idea about what else to do. She then asked her to give the boy's father the same message and left quickly, just so to hide the tears in her eyes.

Chloe didn't know whether or not death would be the best option for her at this point, or if God would tease her all over again with holding her mortality in front of her, as if she were a hungry puppy begging for scraps of food at a table of porkers. Considering how all attempts- from cutting the blood out of her skin to jumping from the tallest building she knew of- had failed, she knew that she was being forced to live such a tiresome, depressing life- just like how she was doing.

Tears slowly flowed from her eyes, although it was hard to tell whether she had felt them fall or not. She felt the numbest she had ever felt in her entire life, and it was all because her cousin had gotten knocked up by someone she had wished and prayed would fly back into her arms- but waiting for him would eventually kill her.

Truthfully, she couldn't wait till then.

She felt like her heart was being ripped from the confines of her chest, and she could almost hear her cousin laughing in the distance.

Lois had already enjoyed having a family with two men that she didn't deserve, whether she thought that they were an okay item or anything. So why couldn't Chloe Sullivan, formerly the future star reporter for the _Daily Planet_, live a life of passion and love with the man she adored the most? Why couldn't she smile for once without feeling the hole in her heart, without knowing that she was missing the biggest part of herself?

Because Lois got everything. That was just how it had come to be over the years, and, truthfully, she hated her for it.

She could feel how her over-exaggerated alcoholic buzz was getting the better of her about now as her head throbbed with the pain of her newest hangover. But, instead of letting it take over her entire being, she took a long swing of the wine that had been left in her grip. Never again, in this lifetime or the next, would she have to remember the pain that she had gone through in loving a man who didn't care for her.

She wished that she could just rewind time and make him love her, make him see that she was the girl of his dreams- not Lois. If anything, she wanted to make him see that she was still waiting for him to notice how good she was for him and how horrible all his other choices had been.

Chloe finally made herself stop gulping down the contents of the bottle in her hand, knowing that she'd only need money to buy yet another bottle of liquor to pour down her throat. And, since she was at such a low-paying job like the _Smallville Herald_, she didn't have all that much money to spend for such trivial things like alcohol. If she spent it only upon the one thing that still made her happy, she'd be just like those hobos on the street.

That was something she certainly didn't want to be.

Once more, her hazel eyes were stuck upon the cloudy skies, and she wished that it would just pour down upon her like mad. She just wished that she could forget him, that the booze would take affect on her mind and turn her brain into mush, thus forgetting all her heartache.

She really wasn't happy at all, now that she thought about it… Well, to tell the truth, she wasn't really fooling anyone with that sad smile and that flask of whiskey hidden deep inside her purse. Slowly, she found herself falling into her drunken dreams, her mind lost from the realities of things, into the world of her dreams where everything she's ever wished for has happened and she is at her happiest.

The lie that has kept her sane most nights…


End file.
